


Make This Place Our Home

by disamphigory



Category: Julius Caesar - Shakespeare
Genre: College AU, M/M, Ukulele, frat boy AU, roman failboats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disamphigory/pseuds/disamphigory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a cross-fandom post on tumblr going around that asked several important questions for any ship. I have answered some of them for our favorite roman failboat revolutionaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make This Place Our Home

**Author's Note:**

> From this a fandom AU list that went around tumblr.

W **hich one is abysmal at roller skating and has to hold onto the other**  

Brutus wasn't entirely sure  _how_  Cassius had talked him into joining a roller derby, but he was pretty sure that Cassius had said roller  _blading_ , not roller  _skating_. Brutus was down with the former; he'd been a blade-punk like the rest, had hauled out his backpack with the straps to hold his roller blades during class before whizzing home after lacrosse practice. Cassius had been on debate team. And in the honor roll. And mock trial. And Model U.N. Brutus had just kinda done whatever his friends were doing, you know? 

Which brought him back to the roller skating. They were on the only all-guy league, and the rest of the team was doing no better than he, gripping the side of rink with white-knuckled desperation as friction became a concept of the past.

Brutus felt a  _whuff_  of wind as Cassius passed him, going backwards.

"Thought you said you could  _move_ , skaterboy!" Cassius yelled, neatly avoiding Cimber who was crawling carefully towards the exit, wheels rolling in mid-air.

"Thought you weren't a douchcanoe!" Brutus called back and moved a skate forward three inches, breathed in, and sighed gustily when he didn't fall over.

Another  _whuff_  of air and Brutus lifted his head just as Cassius made another around and he felt a  _smack_ on his butt.

"C'mon, Brutus! Competition starts on March 15th. We need to be ready. Goooooooo team!"

Brutus flipped him the bird. 

* * *

  **Which one has a short-lived interest in playing the ukulele**

"Anyway, so here's  _Wonderwall_ ," Cassius said, and strummed a C cord. 

* * *

  **Which one get hiccups every time they drink something fizzy**

"It's not"  _hic_  "funny," Cassius pouted, looking up from the large glass of water he was steadily chugging. 

"Oh, but I think it is, fellow soldier," Brutus replied, saluting.

"Why did we ever go to"  _hic_  "that Sailor themed party to begin with?" Cassius asked and took another sip.

"You like a man in uniform," Brutus said.

"Valid. But I'm not drinking"  _hic_   "anything purple ever again," Cassius vowed. 

Brutus nodded solemnly and they watched a group of inebriated freshmen totter pass on towering heels. So impractical for New Hampshire in March. Brutus waited until just as Cassius was finishing gulping his water, then leaped to his feet and pointed into the copse of trees separating the quad from Frat Row. "Holy fuck is that Calpurnia?!?"

Cassius choked on his drink and Brutus leaned down, laughing, to pat him strongly on the back.

"What the fuck, dude! We have to hide! That bitch is coming...wait. Wait." The light turned on in Cassius brain. "You asshole."

Brutus settled himself grandly back onto the grass. "It is a time-honored tradition to scare people out of their hiccups."

"It's a time-honored tradition for me to kick your ass." Cassius muttered, and dumped the remaining water over Brutus' head.

* * *

**Which one listens to new songs on a loop until the other can't stand it**

"As we roll down this unfamiliar road," Brutus sung to himself as he folded socks. Whose socks, he wasn't sure. Anything that wasn't clearly labeled had migrated after he and Cassius moved in together, finding it more economical to share a one-bedroom and lie about trading off places for the couch. College frat boys understood their thrift, if not why Brutus and Cassius might choose to only have the one bed.

"You get lost you can always be fouuuuuuunnnddddd," Brutus sang as he cautiously poked the tupperware container at the back of the fridge. It might have once been black beans and rice. Now, he wasn't sure if he should put it in the trash or donate it to the chem labs.

"Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear," Brutus sang as he tapped his pencil on his copy of Homer to the beat of the song in his head. 

"The trouble it might drag you--- _erk!_ " Brutus jerked against Cassius' hand that was clapped over his mouth.

"No. More." Cassius said close in his ear. Brutus opened his mouth and licked Cassius' palm, who drew it away in disgust. Brutus nodded in seeming capitulation and they climbed the three flights of stairs to their apartment in trudging silence. Brutus threw his coat towards the closet, phone towards the table next to the door, and turned to Cassius with a smirk. 

Cassius looked worried. Brutus took a deep breath.

"YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALOOOOOOOOOOOOONE, CAUSE I'M GONNA MAKE THIS PLACE YOUR HOOOOOOOOOOMMME," and then ran towards the bedroom.

* * *

  **which one tags the other in embarrassing photos without asking first**

 Brutus leaned in close to his phone and lightly smacked Cassius' bicep, the only part of him exposed out of the covers. 

"You fucker. You were shitfaced last night. How the fuck did you  _post pictures from last night to Facebook?_  And then  _tag them_?"

"I'm a gift to all humankind," Cassius snuffled into Brutus' chest. 

"My  _mother_  commented on it," Brutus replied, tugging on one of Cassius' dreadlocks.

"Your mother has good taste. You look hot in a toga."

"We are never partying with those weirdos from the classics department ever again."

"Dunno," Cassius wiped his face on Brutus chest and burrowed in further. Attractive. "They got real excited when you got up to talk about...." He trailed off.

Brutus leaned back against the headboard in defeat. "I gave my Occupy Wall Street speech, didn't I."

Cassius nodded mournfully. "And then got shown up by some fucker finance major. But you were hot in a toga, so, picture."

Brutus paused, and tried to remember exactly what he'd said to the crowd, then gave up. "I guess I'll keep the tag," he said. "My mom's already seen it. There's no coming back from that."

" _My_  mom's already seen it," Cassius said, and squirmed when Brutus poked him in the ribcage.

"Maybe I should--" Brutus started thoughtfully.

"No. No plans until pancakes. And even then, you're not joining speech and debate. It's not your thing," Cassius said. "Plus, Cinna would eat you for breakfast, and that's  _my_  purview."

"No man is that hungover if he can use the world purview in a sentence," Brutus said. "You faker."

"I'm a poet," Cassius replied sleepily.  

* * *

  **The one who keeps posting memes on facebook**

"Hey, check this one out, Cassius," Brutus said, twisting around on the couch and petting Cassius' bare ankle. Cassius lifted up his Dostoevsky in irritation.

"One more. Just this one more, and then I have. To. Finish. This. Book," he said.

"Okay! Okay okay." Brutus cleared his throat importantly and Cassius kicked him. "'Cry 'wow. very chaos. so havoc.' and let slip the doges of war.' See? Get it, because Doge, and--ow!"

Brutus wriggled his way up Cassius' body and insinuated himself between Cassius and his book. "What? It's Shakespeare! It's Culture."

"Culture my ass," Cassius said, and thumped him affectionately on the rear with a thousand page paperback.


End file.
